


Fall on back, fall on back

by Multifandom_damnation



Category: Titans (TV 2018)
Genre: Affectionate Insults, Drinking & Talking, Drunken Confessions, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Family Bonding, Family Dynamics, Gen, Heart-to-Heart, Medical Conditions, Medical Experimentation, Pre-Canon, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Underage Drinking, doom patrol - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 04:50:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16825474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Multifandom_damnation/pseuds/Multifandom_damnation
Summary: Long before the Titans, there was the Doom Patrol, and long before Beast Boy, there was Garfield Logan.Chief may always be on his back for trying to live his life while he still can, but Garfield knows that when the going gets tough and the days get rough and even waking up in the morning becomes a struggle, he always as his family to fall back to when he needs a moment of solace and love.





	Fall on back, fall on back

**Author's Note:**

> I have tagged it as "underage drinking" because there is drinking, and it's safe drinking, but both many media sources and interviews from the directors/producers of Titans and online articles have stated that he is a 'teen' in the show, and this is set at least a year before the Gar joins the Titans team, so I just wanted that to be clear.
> 
> I hope you like it, I really enjoyed their dynamic in ep4 but they were a little hard to write. Rita is a sweetheart though. And Cheif? he's an asshole. An emotionally manipulative asshole. But I hope I explored this concept well enough for you to understand x

“I am extremely disappointed in you, Garfield. I thought you knew better than this.”

Seated with his hands clasped in his lap and his chin touching his chest, Garfield sat silently and diligently as he listened to another one of Chief’s lectures, and held his breath as he waited for it to be over. “Sorry Chief. It won’t happen again.”

“You said the same thing last time yet you go and do it today.”

Garfield knew without a sliver of a doubt that Larry was standing just outside the library door waiting for the right opportunity to barge in with an announcement or comment about dinner just to get Garfield out of the situation- but Garfield knew that once Chief started going, there was no stopping him.

“I leave for two days, and when I come back, I find out that you ran away. Again.”

“Well, I didn’t run away,” Garfield argued, running his hands together. “I just went to town, I needed a new pair of headphones and-“

“That is not an excuse!” Chief slammed his and down on the table and Garfield flinched and bit his lip to hold back the tears that threatened to spill over. “This is unacceptable. I expect better from you.”

Failing to hold back a single sob, Garfield covered his mouth to prevent the rest from coming out. “Sorry Chief.” Garfield was never really good at taking criticism and being yelled at, not since he was a child and that was a trait that hadn’t changed the older he got. “It won’t happen again.”

He made to stand, sensing the ending of the lesson, but Chief placed a hand on his arm. “Do you understand where I am coming from, Garfield?”

Before he could reply, Larry burst into the room, rubbing his hands together. “Gar! Come and tell me what you want for dinner- oh, sorry Chief. Am I interrupting?”

“Not at all Larry.” Chief waved his hand and Garfield stood quickly, making his way to Larry’s side. “We were just finishing up.”

Larry led Garfield out of the room with an arm around his shoulder and Garfield smiled in gratitude. “Thanks, Larry.”

“Don’t worry kid, you know how he gets sometimes. Chief’s always been paranoid about other people. But trust me, you’ve done nothing wrong.”

* * *

“Gar!” Cliff called as he thundered down the stairs. “Can you hear me, you fucker?”

Garfield was playing Super Mario, music blaring loudly in his headphones as his fingers jumped across the buttons and joysticks and his eyes glued attentively to the screen. After watching him for a moment, Cliff placed a heavy hand on Garfield’s shoulder, making the younger man jump. “Larry said Chief told you off today.”

“Oh yeah,” Gar paused the game and turned to face Cliff, the smile on his face obviously fake. “It’s fine. He’s right, as always. I shouldn’t have gone.”

Sighing, Cliff walked over to the couch and sat heavily on it, his arm slung over the back. “You know, we let you go. Chief doesn’t understand that you being able to leave can be useful. Rita would have freaked if you didn’t get her that lipstick and Larry's been raving about those fucking ingredients for ages. Chief shouldn’t have given you such a hard time about it, especially once you explained…” He glanced at Garfield and the sheepish look on his face. “You didn’t tell him, did you? Fuck sake, no wonder he cracked the shits. What did you say?”

“That I needed new headphones…” Garfield seemed to shrink further into his chair at the withering look Cliff seemed to send him. “I didn’t want you guys to get in trouble too.”

“So you just took the blame for us then?” Cliff shook his head. “Damn it, Gar. You don’t need to do that.”

Garfield didn’t answer and instead went back to fiddling absently at the controller. Cliff apprised him with a tilted head and a worried sound made its way from the back of his throat. He knew how much Garfield hated being told off by people he admired, and he hates how small his friend looks in that chair. “I’m not mad at you, Gar. Actually, I brought you a gift.”

“How did you manage that?” Garfield looked up, surprised. “Nobody is allowed to see you and people would have noticed a giant robot-man walking through the street.”

“eBay is a magical resource.” Cliff joked. “Also, fuck you.” He chucked Garfield an octagonal Rubix-cube, one with too many sides for Cliff to count and enough colours to give him a headache. Garfield caught it easily and looked at the box with wide eyes. “I thought you might like it. I knew you were looking for a triangle one at the store but I thought you’d find more joy from a more complicated one.”

He had hardly gotten the words out before Garfield launched himself at him and Cliff was forced to wrap his arms around his sudden bundle of excitable green child or risk them both toppling over. “You didn’t have to do that,” Garfield whispered into the crook of his neck and they both knew that Cliff couldn’t feel the contact, not really, but Cliff appreciated the sentiment.

“Hey, maybe I just want you to be happy?” Cliff gently pried Garfield away so he could meet his eyes. He waved a hand about the room. “You live in a basement, Gar, and even if you have made it your own, it’s still the basement in a house filled with old people. I feel bad that you can’t live a normal life- can’t have friends your own age, can’t leave the house. It breaks my fucking heart man- don’t say it, I know, ‘you don’t have a heart Cliff’, well shut the fuck up.” Garfield hid his smile behind his hand. “So if buying you this crap can make you feel a little more like a normal kid, then I’m willing to bend the rules and do whatever I have can to make sure you stay like that.”

Garfield wiped an exaggerated hand across his nose. “Wow Cliff, that was beautiful. Have you been taking lessons from Rita? You could be the next Grammy winner for ‘I, Robot’.”

“Fuck off.” Cliff pointed at the paused game behind them. “Are you going to start playing the damn game so I can watch or are you going to make me play with one of your collectables? You have so many, you won’t even notice they were gone.”

Rolling his eyes, Garfield sat back into his chair and Cliff followed slightly after and stayed like that until Larry called them up for dinner, Cliff pointing out things Garfield had missed and Garfield feeling a little more whole.

* * *

The glasses are placed in front of him with a heavy _clunk!_ and Garfield looked at them wearily. “Are you sure I’m allowed to do this?”

Snorting, Larry placed a similar glass in front of himself and a large decanter filled with amber liquid in the middle of the table. “Probably not, but there’s nobody here to stop us. Cliff gave me the idea anyway, so he’s not going to tell you off if he comes around.”

Garfield tapped his fingers on the kitchen tabletop, his nails scratching along the metal. “I don’t know if this is a good idea, Larry…”

“If you don’t want to do it, we won’t,” Larry said. “But Rita and Chief are in bed and you know I would never let anything happen to you.” He slid the decanter towards Garfield, who wrapped his fingers around it. “Pour yourself a glass if you want. If you don’t, I don’t mind drinking alone.”

“Isn’t this for cooking?” Garfield asked as he poured a meagre amount of the liquid into the crystalline glass. “Chief hates it when you waste ingredients.”

“Kid, if I used this for cooking, we’d all be dead.” Larry joked as he watched Garfield from behind his sunglasses. “Pour a little more. Little more. Whoa- too much!” he reached out and yanked the glass from Garfield’s hand when the glass was almost full. “You don’t have to drink all of that in one go. Take a sip.”

While Larry was filling his own glass, Garfield tentatively brought the glass to his lips and took a sip. His face immediately scrunched up and he stuck his tongue out in distaste. “Is this _whisky_?”

“What else did you think it was?” Larry brought his own glass to his lips. “I’m not wasting my wine; I need that for dinner.” He waved at the glass in Garfield’s hand. “Go slow. Whatever you don’t drink I’ll have later.”

Garfield took another sip and admittedly, it didn’t burn as much the second time around. “Tell me Gar,” Larry said after they had sat quietly together under the fluorescent lights of the kitchen. “Something’s been bothering you. Want to talk about it?”

By this point, Gar was beginning to feel the light-headedness associated with drinking and he waved his hand loosely. “You know; I just feel like I mess everything up. Chief is always mad at me, even when I do everything he asks, and I kinda feel like I’m a burden around here, you know?”

Larry tilted his head and swirled the whisky around in his glass “What do you mean?”

“Cliff fixes things around the house, you cook every meal, Rita is our moral support and Chief saves all those people.” Garfield sighed. “All I do is break the rules.”

“You’re a fucking kid,” Larry muttered. “You should be allowed to break the rules from time to time, have a little fun. It’s not fair to you to keep you cooped up here and Chief should understand that. You taking a trip to town for a couple hours a day isn’t going to kill anyone.”

“Chief seems to think so.” The alcohol began to make Garfield petulant and Larry held back a laugh at the pout forming on his friends face. “I’m scared to even leave sometimes because I don’t want anyone to yell at me.”

Shaking his head, Larry took a deep drag of his whisky and chuckled when Garfield copied him, coking slightly on the heavy taste. “You need friends your own age. Living with us isn’t good for you, not every day.”

“You guys are more like my family than my friends,” Garfield said absently. “Rita is like my mum and Cliff is like my dad. Chief is a really possessive uncle. And you… you’re a lot like an older brother.” By the approving sound Larry made at the back of his throat, Garfield knew he chose correctly. “You and Rita more than anyone don’t treat me like a kid. Cliff does a little bit but that’s just because he’s old and overprotective.” He giggled and Larry couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face. “Chief is just a jerk.”

Larry knew that if Chief ever heard Garfield speaking like that about him, he would rip him a new one, so Larry doesn’t comment. “I guess it’s just a little harder because you’re so much fucking younger than us.” He ruffled Garfield’s hair and the younger man giggled again and swatted weakly at Larry’s hand. “We sometimes forget that you’re not a baby.”

When Larry didn’t receive any sort of reply, he looked down to see Garfield leaning over his mostly full glass, muttering under his breath. Larry laughed and pulled Garfield’s head closer to him to the younger man could lean against Larry’s shoulder. “You know we’ll always love you, right Gar? No matter what you do or what you are, you’re still our family. And Chief knows that he can’t fucking change that.”

He knew he would have to call Cliff down in a moment to carry Garfield up to bed, but Larry was just comfortable sitting there in his kitchen, one hand on his glass and the other in a shock of green hair, listening to Garfield giggle and snore in his sleep.

* * *

They’re eating dinner when Chief barged into the dining room, gloves already on his hands and a frantic yet eager look on his face. He glanced at Garfield and his look turned sour. “Ah, Garfield. I am glad to see that you made it for dinner.” Rita sent him a look when Garfield sunk deeper into his chair. “No matter. I have a patient- I require your assistance.”

As he passed her, Rita whispered in Garfield’s ear before rushing down the stairs and taking up her position by Chief’s side and Garfield fetched the case. The man Chief brought in had black and cracking lips and his brown hair is turning a bright white before it fells out to scatter across the floor. Garfield doesn’t watch as Chief pulled a serum from his case and injected the liquid into the man’s body.

When it is all over and Larry was collapsing heavily against Cliff on the couch in exhaustion, Garfield made his way upstairs and knocked on Rita’s door. “Rita? You wanted to see me?”

Rita’s slightly warbled voice shouted through the door, “Come in Gar,” and he knew that she was trying to put herself back together, so he waited a moment longer before pushing the door open to be met by a warm embrace. He pats her awkwardly as she smothers him into her shoulder. “Hello dear, so nice of you to join me.” She pulled away with a smile. “Come, sit with me.”

Walking over, Garfield sat comfortably on the bed beside Rita as she grasped his hands tightly between hers. Her smile was dazzling and despite the left side of her face being slightly lower than usual, Garfield still thinks she is the most beautiful person in the world. “Is everything alright, Rita?”

“Oh no, nothing at all dear,” Rita reassured. “I just wanted to talk to you. Are you alright? It seems like something is on your mind.”

Biting his lip, Garfield laughed off her claims. “Nah Rita, I’m alright. But thanks for worrying about me, we’d all be doomed without you here to look out for us.”

“Gar,” Rita said gently, squeezing Garfield’s hands to gather his attention. “I have eyes. I saw what happened at dinner. And I can tell that there’s something… heavy, weighing you down. You know you can tell me anything, right?”

After a moment, Garfield sighed and scooted closer to Rita. “The thing at dinner was just… Chief’s been really hard on me, lately, and you know how much I hate getting in trouble.” Rita pursed her lips in sympathy. “But… do you promise to keep a secret? You’ll be the only one who knows.” Rita nodded. “Alright. There’s something bothering me that’s… more than just Chief or anything. I think… it’s with my powers.”

Rita tilted her head. “In a good way or a bad way?”

“I… I don’t know,” Garfield admitted. “It’s like… instead of being Gar, I’m Gar _and_ the tiger. When I transform, I’m controlling myself in that form, but the tiger is there too, trying to get control. And when I’m just Gar, sometimes the tiger slips through without me realizing.”

“Like when you suddenly talk back to Chief or growl at Cliff,” Rita said and Garfield nodded. “You know you could have told us this, Gar.”

Garfield shook his head, his eyes pinned to the bedspread in shame. “No, not really. It’s like an overlap of personalities. The tiger is in my head the same way I’m in the tiger’s head. Rita- sometimes, I can be in my room and smell the food Larry’s cooking, or hear Cliff coming up the stairs to see you or Chief’s wheelchair rolling from room to room. But I shouldn’t because I’m downstairs in my room and you guys are far away from me.”

“Do you think the tiger is giving you advanced senses?” Rita tilted her head and looked skyward as she thought. “I suppose it’s possible. Have you spoken to Chief about it?”

“I don’t want him to do any more tests on me.” Garfield fiddled with the bedspread, immaculately made. “And I don’t want him to treat me like one of his experimental patients. I mean, it doesn’t bother me too much, the tiger thing, but I’m just worried that one day I’ll lose control and hurt people because the tiger is forcing me to.”

Rita smiled and leaned closer to Garfield. “Well,” She placed a kiss to his forehead and leant her chin on his green hair as she embraced him in a gentle hug. “We’ll still love you, no matter what happens. And maybe you being stuck here with us isn’t helping matters. Tigers need to roam, you know, and you don’t get any of that here. Maybe you can talk to Chief about maybe going for a run?”

“I can try,” Garfield hugged her back tightly before pulling away, standing, and making his way towards the door. “Thanks, Rita. I’ll bring some leftovers up.” Rita waved as he closed the door behind him.

* * *

“Uh, Chief, can I ask a favour?”

They were standing in the dining room, Chief watching with detached disinterest as Garfield unset the table from breakfast. “What is it, Garfield?”

Garfield cleared his throat and wrung his fingers together so tightly that he feared they might pop out of their sockets. “I um, I was wondering if I could go for a run out the back? Through the trees, nobody will see me, I won't even go near the town. I just…” He trailed off as he saw Chief’s decision without him making a sound. “Uh, right. Sorry Chief.”

“My boy, I’m sorry, but you already know my answer to such a reckless question.” Chief shook his head and began to wheel away from Garfield, leaving the younger boy alone to unset the table and wallow in his rejection.

Before Chief could leave the room, Larry waltzed in with a peice of paper in his hand. “Actually Chief, I was wondering if Gar could go to town for me, pick up a few things.” Garfield shot his head up to look at him and Larry inclined his head in acknowledgement. “Some things for dinner and some things that I’ve been really looking forward to.”

“Yeah, and I heard there was a new movie out about race-cars and famous drivers.” Cliff joined in, Rita right behind him, the left side of her body slightly deformed. “I was hoping Gar could find it for me. You know how much I love that sort of stuff, now that I can't fucking do any of it.”

“And I’m all out of makeup,” Rita agreed, though Larry, Garfield and Cliff knew it wasn’t true. “If Gar could get that for me it would make that much happier.”

Chief turned his chair around slowly to glare at the group, who had all gathered like a protective wall at Garfield’s back, and seemed to mull the idea over. Eventually, he sighed, which sounded more like a growl, and waved his hand dismissively. “Fine. Just make sure you’re back by dinner and _do not_ get caught.”

Garfield held his breath as Chief wheeled away and once he was old of sight, Garfield spun around and hugged his family tightly. “Thanks, guys. You didn’t have to do that.”

Larry shoved the list into Garfield’s hand. “Yeah yeah, get going. And I actually do need this list done.”

Laughing, Garfield grabbed his jacket and his bag as he made his way out the front door. Once he got to the clearing of trees, he looked down at the list and smiled to himself.

  * _Carrots._
  * _Chocolate._
  * _Caramel_
  * _Pretzels_
  * _Gar, just have a good time. We’ve put money in your wallet, so buy yourself whatever you’d like. We love you. Enjoy yourself, for us._
  * _Hot dog buns._
  * _Celery_



Closing his eyes, Garfield took a deep breath and ran towards town, ready to have a fantastic day filled with adventures and return home to his loving family.


End file.
